Epitome of the ninja

March 9, 2010

This was written for me by a friend who I (at the time) had no idea was epic-ly awesome. It also made my day and week.

Bushes rustling under winda
Could be wind but could be ninja
Masturbating in your garden
Peeping Tom with ninja hard-on

You see the ninja, see him wanking
Harmless ninja, Christ you’re thanking
Weirds you out, but he thinks you’re hot
Means all those sharp weapons are just for
… wait, what?!

Shuriken, tanto, ninjagatana
Smoke bombs, caltrops, kusurigama
Shobo, kama and the clan’s kitchen sink
You only need one hand for wanking, I think

Blink once, twice then ninja gone
Like the wind in human form
Nothing there but empty road
Trampled plants and ninja load

Doors slams behind you, what was that?
Could be ninja or… ninja cat?
Relieved now but freaking out.
Wanking ninja’s still about

Lights go out then flash back on
It’s an all-night ninjathon
Pants wet now you look around
Trickling pee at every sound
Nothing bad, coast is clear
But don’t know how that statue got here.

The one of a ninja clutching his dick
And toting a sword, razor-tipped
Lights blink out and statue comes silently
Lights back on as statue comes violently
Then ninja kills you.

~J. Vallance

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One Response to “Epitome of the ninja”

  1. Bernardo said

    BAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

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